Balancing Identity in Motherhood: My Journey at ‘Home With Two’
Motherhood — it’s quite the rollercoaster, isn’t it? “A rollercoaster of emotions, a front-row seat to literally the greatest show on Earth” is how I described it back when my eldest turned six months old. I wasn’t wrong back then. The journey of motherhood is just that — a journey, marked by joy, challenges, discoveries, and transformations.
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When my firstborn entered the world, everything around me seemed to revolve around this new role and title of mine: Mom (or Momma and then Mommy). The universe had handed me this new identity, and I fully embraced it with both hands.
My blog and social media naturally became extensions of this newfound identity that I fully emersed myself into. Every post, every photo, every shared experience became a chronicle of my journey as a mom.
My blog morphed into a motherhood and lifestyle platform. I shared the best baby products for my family, tips for our nighttime routine, and the nuances of navigating the infant phase.
Motherhood permeated me and my every hobby and interest.
I believed that by intertwining motherhood with my passions, I’d find a harmonious balance.
But then, my second child was born.
Realizing No Two Children Are Alike
It quickly dawned upon me that no two babies are the same. The advice, products, and routines that seemed universal suddenly appeared limited, sometimes even irrelevant. More crucially, I realized a bigger truth – while blending motherhood with my passions seemed like a balanced approach, it was slowly but surely eclipsing the core of who I was.
All the things that defined me – my love for books, my sense of style, the music that moved me – were being overshadowed by the overarching theme of motherhood. Instead of feeling integrated, I felt lost.
I adore my children. They are literally the sun around which my world orbits. However, I am not just their mother. I am a woman with dreams, interests, and passions that existed before they came into my life and will continue alongside my role as their mom. Not everything I do has to have ties to motherhood.
The Shift Back to Me
And so, a must-needed shift began. I decided to redefine my online presence. I changed my blog’s name to “Home With Two” – an ode to my two greatest blessings, but I made a conscious choice to center it around me. The books I’m reading, the trends I adore, the music that moves me. Yes, there’s an occasional touch on kid-related themes that align with my passions, like children’s literature and movies.
And of course, I have the very occasional Motherhood post — but again, it’s about me.
It’s always my opinion, and my kids are nowhere to be seen in those posts. This transformation was further solidified by another awakening. About a year or so ago, I stumbled upon a creator on TikTok, Sarah @mom.uncharted who discusses the potential dangers of sharing children on the internet.
Her insights are eye-opening. While the digital age offers countless benefits, it also presents unseen risks, especially for young, innocent souls unaware of the vastness and intricacies of the web. It’s a different vantage point, one that many have yet to navigate. But standing on this side of the fence, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief with my choices.
A Message for Every Mother
I share this transformation to reach out to all who might be feeling similarly. It’s essential to have spaces where we are our authentic selves, not just someone’s mom, partner, or any other role. Our interests and passions need not be footnotes in our life stories; they deserve their own chapters.
In “Home With Two”, while the presence of my children is undeniable, I want the world to see the myriad colors that define me, beyond motherhood. Because every woman, every mother, deserves to shine in her own true light.
